Where not to eat in Waikiki

Another good title to this post would be: "It's been a tough week, it's snowing like crazy here, and I feel the need to complain"

We recently took a trip to Hawaii. I wanted to have a really good time so I thought if I had very few expectations, I wouldn't be disappointed (this logic should work...in theory) and I kept my expectations very simple (so I thought)

1) I didn't want to get sunburned

2) I wanted a coconut drink and

3) I wanted some great sushi

Sounds simple, eh?

The last time I was in Hawaii I got so burned the first day I couldn't go outside let alone wear clothes for 3 or 4 days! So this time I watched the clock and put sunscreen on every 2 hours and you know what? I hardly even got a tan! So the last day there I didn't put on any sunscreen ..... I didn't get burned, but I did get a little tiny tan :-) I think deep down I really expected to get really brown, like Island Brown! Oh well, that's what I get for having expectations...

We stayed at a great hotel on the beach, the Moana Surfrider. The rooms and staff were excellent. They change the mats in the elevators THREE Times A Day! They say "Good Morning" "Good Afternoon" and "Good Evening" I don't know why, but that really impressed me. What attention to detail!

The bartenders at the outside bar were pretty good (2nd Best Baileys and Coffee I've ever had!) Every night I asked for the special Coconut drink (Lots of different fruity things served inside a real coconut). Every night they apologized and said they had not received any coconuts. What?!?! No coconuts in Hawaii?!?! But since I was working on the "very few expectations" theory I didn't give up. I asked every single day and night. I mean, I was in Hawaii, and it's not like they run out of coconuts there, right???

Well, since I was still working on the "very few expectations" theory, after the 4th night I started eyeballing the special Pineapple Drink to see if that could possibly satisfy my very little expectation of wanting to have a drink in a real coconut... while I'm in Hawaii... which I think is the world's Coconut Capital! (I had no idea this was to turn into the "Coconut Drink Issue" for me on this trip)
In a desperate move, I ask the waitress about the special Pineapple drink and she said, "Oh I'm not sure if we have any of those".... I sit speechless as she walks over to ask the bartender and she turns and tells me they have ONE left. I immediately snap out of my coconut coma and yell, "I GET IT!" (I raise my arm up high and start waving it) "IF YOU HAVE ONE PINEAPPLE LEFT, I GET IT!!!"

I realize I'm being stared at... I lower my arm and shut up. And then I realize I'm not getting the darn coconut drink but a PINEAPPLE! Pineapples I can get at the local market! and I could make my own darn pineapple drink for a lot cheaper than $12.00!!!!

(deep breath) But I realize since I'm still working on the "very few expectations" theory, I must learn to be adaptable.

I graciously accept the Special Pineapple Drink, realizing too late that I could have auctioned the thing off for a small fortune and ordered another Mango Martini. It was the whole "it's the last pineapple on the island" thing that got me.... I still can't believe I didn't get a coconut drink. Oh well, that's what I get for having expectations...

So onto the sushi! We were tired and the time difference was screwy so we asked the hotel if they could recommend a sushi place. Shouldn't be too difficult since we were On An Island and Japan is only around 5 to 7 hours away... We were told "You have to go to Sansei! They were voted Best Restaurant and Top Oahu Restaurant!" Their menu states they won 1st place at the Taste of Lahaina. We think, cool, we know where to go and we know it will be great since it's recommended and it's won these awards. (shaking my head in wonder at my gullibility)

We sat at the sushi bar and were served by "Alan." We ordered Salmon Sashimi, Negi Hama, and the "Yaki-Maki Sushi" a Sansei Original which consists of a California Roll wrapped with smoked salmon and baked with Dynamite sauce. Well, as I state on my website, if the fish smells fishy it is not fresh enough to eat cooked or especially raw. We were served the Negi Hama first .... the yellowtail was "aged" and the nori was soft.

I don't normally like smoked salmon if it's not on a bagel, but their special California Roll sounded good. I was sooooo wrong. The salmon's fishy taste was so strong even cooked, that I could smell it! The dynamite sauce was overdone with QP mayo, and even that didn't disguise the old salmon taste. Then there were the bones.... I have a "thing" about bones in my sushi or sashimi. I have a feeling I'm not alone in this.... I was so tired at this point (to me it was around 1 am) and so hungry I did my best to keep eating and picked the bones out of my mouth as discreetly as I could.

Then came the salmon sashimi. Sashimi is a true test to any sushi bar. I spied "Alan" hunched behind the display case using his fingernails to pick out bones from the sashimi. I knew I was doomed.... This was regular salmon sashimi, not smoked, and it tasted worse than the cooked, smoked version. I couldn't believe it. The bones and taste were so bad, I only ate one piece and left the rest.

The waitress asked if we wanted it "to go" when we asked for the check.... No thank you.

I couldn't wait to get back to Colorado to my favorite sushi chef.

Did I mention my favorite sushi chef is Hawaiian?